Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.

A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.

Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.

A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.

A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.

A man's character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation.

A person who won't read has no advantage over one who can't read.

A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds.

A round man cannot be expected to fit in a square hole right away. He must have time to modify his shape.

Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often.

Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.

Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.

Any emotion, if it is sincere, is involuntary.

Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today.

Be careless in your dress if you will, but keep a tidy soul.

Biographies are but the clothes and buttons of the man. The biography of the man himself cannot be written.

But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?

Buy land, they're not making it anymore.

By trying we can easily endure adversity. Another man's, I mean.

Civilization is the limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities.

'Classic.' A book which people praise and don't read.

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.

Don't let schooling interfere with your education.

Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone, you may still exist, but you have ceased to live.

Drag your thoughts away from your troubles... by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it.

Education consists mainly of what we have unlearned.

Everything has its limit - iron ~ ore cannot be educated into gold.

Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven.

Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable.

Familiarity breeds contempt - and children.

Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.

Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't.

Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.

Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.

Golf is a good walk spoiled.

Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.

Grief can take care if itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with.

He is now rising from affluence to poverty.

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.

Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.

I can live for two months on a good compliment.

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.

I must have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as much as a week sometimes to make it up.

I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn't know.

I was seldom able to see an opportunity until it had ceased to be one.

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them.

It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.

It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them.

It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.

It is easier to stay out than get out.

It is just like man's vanity and impertinence to call an animal dumb because it is dumb to his dull perceptions.

It is not best that we should all think alike; it is a difference of opinion that makes horse races.

It usually takes me more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.

It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.

It's no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense.

It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.

Laws control the lesser man... Right conduct controls the greater one.

Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.

Let us make a special effort to stop communicating with each other, so we can have some conversation.

Let us not be too particular; it is better to have old secondhand diamonds than none at all.

Lord save us all from a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms.

Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul.

Loyalty to the country always. Loyalty to the government when it deserves it.

Man is the only animal that blushes - or needs to.

Man was made at the end of the week's work when God was tired.

Man will do many things to get himself loved, he will do all things to get himself envied.

Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising.

Martyrdom covers a multitude of sins.

My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.

Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.

Necessity is the mother of taking chances.

Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid.

Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.

Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.

Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed.

Prophesy is a good line of business, but it is full of risks.

Prosperity is the best protector of principle.

Repartee is something we think of twenty-four hours too late.

The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.

The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes.

The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.

The human race has only one really effective weapon and that is laughter.

The lack of money is the root of all evil.

The more things are forbidden, the more popular they become.

The more you explain it, the more I don't understand it.

The most interesting information comes from children, for they tell all they know and then stop.

The Public is merely a multiplied "me."

Truth is the most valuable thing we have. Let us economize it.

We have the best government that money can buy.

What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin.

What would men be without women? Scarce, sir, mighty scarce. What, sir, would the people of the earth be without woman? They would be scarce, sir, almighty scarce.

When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.

When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.

Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.

Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do. Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do.

Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.

You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.

all quotes on this page are by ~ Mark Twain

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